segunda-feira, 28 de outubro de 2019

National Health Service for Animals - Lesson #2 - The Monitor Lizard

Due to recent developments in the communication transducers it is now possible to render reptile Jacob’s organ inputs into human conversation. We’re very sorry for that.

- Calling Monitor Lizard #8945, consulting room 12, Monitor Lizard #8945, consulting room 12.

- Good afternoon Mr. Varanus. What can I do for you?

- Well, it’s a plain matter that brings me here…

- If you’d be so kind as to explain it…

- Humans no longer horse around through the African plains. We no longer have the pleasure of hunting one of your kind and feast like we used to. Worst: You come with with your large caliber rifles that don’t miss and jeeps which are faster than we are. It’s a pity we no longer live the life we used to...what happened?

- The truth Mr. Varanus, is that humans are no longer willing to be eaten half-alive by your venomous saliva bite. Things like those belong to the past. Now, you’re frightened by us and not the opposite...

- But what about our rights? You have given us hope with this NHSA thing and now it is clear nothing has really changed the way you treat us. Can you do anything about it Doctor #65834215?

- I’m afraid not Mr. Varanus. Things were updated in a sense aiming to protect humans instead of lizards...there’s in fact nothing I can do...I am sorry…

- You are sorry? What about us, lizards? We are animals too, you came up with this NHSA to deal with animal illness problems, and here I am, presenting you one!!!

- Mr. Varanus, listen, you’re not sick, your case regards relationships between Kingdoms and not healthcare issues...I’m sure you can understand this…

- I know, I know...but you know, we miss the old times when you ran like hell from us...we miss those days. And that is rather depressive…we roam around our hunting ground only to hunt rats, rabbits and little more...depression is weakening our zest for life...can you understand?

- I understand. I will issue a form for you to fill in and present it to our Herpetopsychiatric Department. In compliance, I’m sure they will provide you with the right medication for your condition.

- Thank you very much Doctor #65834215. Good afternoon.

- Calling saltwater crocodile #3734596 consulting room 8, saltwater crocodile #3734596 consulting room #8...

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